| You read that
right. My last shows were at McGuire's in January.
All good things must come to an end. This holds true for the best things as well. Over the last four years practicing stand up comedy has given me some amazing experiences. Not least of which is the heart pounding thrill of walking on stage in front of an audience staring at me in quiet expectation. Those few seconds before the first joke is told are like jumping out of an airplane during a game of Russian parachute roulette. In that bullet time moment I feel like I'm facing my existence head on. I came of age in the '70s, barely survived the '80s and spent the '90s chasing self renovation. I have experienced many things - good, bad and hallucinatory. Stand up is one of the best things I've ever done. So why stop doing it? Before I answer that let me say for the record that I love performing. It has become a compulsion for me. Just the other night, after throwing my back out of whack shoveling snow, I went on stage despite feeling like I was a candidate for spinal traction. Given the opportunity to try to make people laugh I have no choice as to whether I will try or I won't try - try, try I must. From the moment I walk into a comedy show venue, whether I'm on that show or not, the desire to get on grabs hold of me and does not let go. Here it is: The reason I am resigning from stand up comedy is that, after four years, I'm just not as good at it as I had hoped I would be. I would even go so far as to say that, at times, I'm pretty bad at it. Granted I have had my moments. I have written some jokes I can perform well enough that most times, if I'm if front of a good audience, will get good laughs. A booker once told me that having me do a set on a show wasn't very risky because I wasn't likely to turn off the audience. I took that evaluation as high praise at the time and appreciate its significance even more today. I've also learned over the years most of the ins and outs of hosting a comedy show. Hosting a show well is not as easy as most people might believe. Comics whose talent and experience I highly respect have told me I'm a pretty good host. And about 50% of my bookings lately have been to host, so I must be doing something right in that category. "But Rob..." a reader may say, "...just because you suck right now is no reason to stop. Almost all comics improve if they keep at it." I agree. I have gotten better over time, mostly by getting (or making) as much stage time as I could for myself and staying open to learning lessons from my bad sets. I've also seen many other comics who were not that good when they started work hard and improve their acts tremendously. The sad truth in my case is that I started too late in life. I am an old man by stand up comedy career measures. "But Rodney Dangerfield didn't make it until he was 43!" that same reader may say. That is true. Rodney didn't become successful until 43, but he started doing stand up years before. And he had a HUGE amount of talent to begin with. I don't. Performing stand up comedy is an art. Most artists start out with some natural ability for their art form. Some are really impressive right out of the gate. A budding painter can often delight with their works. But it is the master painter who inspires awe. This difference applies to the art form of stand up comedy. I have had the privilege to see some great comics at many different levels of experience. A few of them are very good headliners even with less than 10 years in. But the true masters of stand up are the guys who have been doing it for 15, 20, 25, even 30 years or more. They go beyond just being funny. To watch these masters exercise their talents has moved me in ways that are beyond my ability to describe in words. Watching them has also caused me pain because I know I just don't have the time to truly master stand up comedy. I'm tired of that pain. Soon after the New Year I will be hanging up my microphone and heading out into to the audience for good. (I have one last gig coming up the second weekend in January at McGuires with the Italian Stallions of Comedy. I'd love it if folks would come down and help me use this event to celebrate the great time I've had doing stand up. The first drink is on me!) And while I am sure I will miss the rush from a great set, I'll probably miss the disappointment of a lousy set just as much. Ahhhh.... no I won't. I've made some good friends on my stand up comedy journey. There have been many people who have helped make this a great experience - far too many to thank individually in a blog post. Most of them know who they are. For now I hope they will be able to accept my sincerest thanks collectively until I can express it to them in person. I'm very excited about the journey ahead and I'm looking forward to a spectacular New Year! I wish all of my stand up comedy friends the same! Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. ~Theodor Seuss Geisel |